I know this sounds like bad parenting, but my kid was really, really – really, annoying me. So I did the only thing I could do. I challenged him to a game of Fight Night…
“My Kid Knocked Me Out!” Okay, so the title doesn’t sound too bad, but when you read the paragraph above it doesn’t sound too good either. Considering my kid was 8 at the time, it’s fair to say I let my frustrations get the better of me.
I shouldn’t have taken my anger out as I did, but hey, I did, and here I am talking about it now.
Roll With The Punches
Anyway, moving along. As I said, my kid was being super annoying, and to be honest, I can’t really remember what he was doing that was making me so mad. But he was making me so mad.
A Brilliant Idea???
I just had to vent my frustration. But How?
“Hey mate, do you want to play some video games with me?” This is what I asked my 8-year-old Son, in a voice that was very sincere with no guile whatsoever (sarcasm overload).
“With a twinkle in my eye and a smile like a cunning fox, I loaded up “Fight Night Champion””
Of course, his face lit up straight away. He hardly ever got to play video games so he took this opportunity with open arms.
With a twinkle in my eye and a smile like a cunning fox, I loaded up “Fight Night Champion”
The Anger And Frustration Melted Away
With every, left, right, jab, jab, uppercut combo, my anger melted away as I absolutely buried my Son’s on-screen character.
It was absolutely shameful, and yet, I could not stop smiling and laughing. My kid, on the other hand, was whinging and wailing telling me to stop.
It felt like a special type of therapy, not too far removed from that one episode in The Simpsons where the family starts beating on each other with padded bats.
While Enjoying My Shameful Parenting Display, The Worst Was Yet To Come. Enter… Slow Motion Replays
In short order, I knocked out my Son’s character. It was completely one-sided, he’d never even played the game before because (ironically) it was too violent.
Perhaps the best thing about Fight Night Champion was the knockout replays. You could replay the decisive knockout hit, over and over, and over, again to your heart’s content. I regret to report that that is exactly what I did.
“You could replay the decisive knockout hit, over and over, and over, again to your heart’s content. I regret to report that that is exactly what I did.”
Nature Finds A Way
Literally, nature found a way – to cut in that is. I had to go to the toilet right before the start of our next fight. Naturally, I paused the game and told my Son I’d be right back.
Now when I said earlier, that my Son didn’t play many games. I meant it. He played, like, no games. I figured he wouldn’t know how to un-pause the game. Perhaps I made the mistake of telling him not to un-pause it until I got back from the bathroom? In any case, that’s exactly what he did.
My Kid Knocked Me Out
I came back from the bathroom, and my character was on the mat at the end of a “10” count!
I saw the screen, and rushed to the controller, frantically trying to get my character back up. There was no time to berate my Son on the etiquette of socially acceptable “un-pausing” moments. No, I was sweating trying to get my Guy back in the game! Only then, could I exact my revenge.
While trying to get back up, I could see my Son smiling from ear to ear in the corner of my vision. As much as I tried, my character was out cold and was not getting back up.
Learning From Losing
At this stage, I turned to my Son (who was still smiling), and slowly, respectfully, nodded my head in a “silent recognition” kind of way.
My Son had learned how to cheat in a video game. In a way, I was proud, and so I laughed really hard along with my Son. This lead into a playful wrestle between us, and before I knew it, I’d forgotten I was angry with him in the first place.
And that’s the story of how my kid knocked me out.
If you like this story check out “Taunting In Yoda’s Voice: Gulch Experiences”
Get Fight Night Champion Here
Submitted By Anonymous | Edited By Izzy Davis | 2019
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